I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
