before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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