It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
