I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
