There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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