yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
