Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
