Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
