trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My feet surprised me
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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