please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
