The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
