I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
