It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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