I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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