guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize