Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
