I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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