if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
