I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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