found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
