cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I currently don't understand fingers.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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