I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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