we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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