Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
