I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
