We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
we're so committed to being not committed
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
