Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
