In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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