All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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