rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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