"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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