Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
