Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
My balls are so social today.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize