just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
