idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
