I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
