can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
