a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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