should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
