i'm signing you up for texting rehab
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
