Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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