Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
