and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
