Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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