I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
