She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
