I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
