Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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