Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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