theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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