I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
