Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
