Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
