I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
