idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
too bad you live with your parents still
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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