Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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