One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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