best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
