I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
