so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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