I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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