doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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